The Miracle

Dear fellow waxduckies,

Greetings.

Of course, I'm still listening to holiday music on www.windowsmedia.com . Just finished a whole big bowl of Hainan chicken rice. Yummy! Thanks, Mom.

First of all, farewell, Cineart! Miss you! I had truly wonderful times with my friends and family seeing movies like "搶錢家族", "開國大典", "情書", "高校教師", "五個相撲的少年", "可可西里", "Il Postino"...

Yesterday morning I attended an audition at the Hong Kong Repertory Theatre. So nervous. So exciting. So moving. We the actors went through several sensitivity, acting, and movement exercises, did our 1-min self-introductions, 2-min improvisation with a partner, and sang our "Shanghai Tang". Ms. Fung reminded us not to be discouraged if we didn't get to go on to the next round of audition.

"Persist!" she encouraged us.

I was so moved by her words, as I sang, "成功, 失敗, 在我心中起伏夠."

The night before yesterday I was in such a grip of emotions, when I took out my folder and looked at my cover letter, theatrical & non-theatrical resumes, my photos, and all my diplomas. When I looked at my theatrical resume, I realized how blessed I am to have the opportunity to get to know all these instructors and to perform in plays or a musical under their direction. I was looking at this folder as if I was looking back at my own life, as if this folder was all I had in my life, as if all the materials in this folder were what defined who I was.

I felt that I had so little. I felt that I was afraid of going on living with this little folder of pics, resumes, and diplomas in my hands. So little. How am I gonna face all the real life challenges with this tiny thingy? Then I slowly realized how much I wanna get into the troupe so desperately. Perhaps too desperate.

However, somehow I also realized that all these pics, resumes, and diplomas are, in fact, symbols of great blessings and symbols of great love. I was seeing once again how I was living overseas without having my parents around. Even though they weren't there, but I realized that their love was always right there with me.

If it wasn't because of them working hard here in Hong Kong, how on earth would I be able to pay for the tuition, the dorm, and the food. If it wasn't because of their efforts, how on earth would I be able to meet all these friends and mentors in America?

So I imagine that in every place I visited, in every person I met, and in every thing I put my hands on, there was a little bit of mom and dad's love in that very place, in that very person, and in that very thing. Just as when I look into the mirror, not only I'm seeing myself, but I'm also seeing my mom and dad, since part of them is still very much alive inside me, running in my bloodstreams.

I realized that I was actually quite frightened that one day mom and dad wouldn't be around anymore, but now I know that even if they're gone, part of them will always be with me.

Always.

All I need to do is to look into the mirror.

To see myself is to see my mom and my dad.

I am my mom and my dad.

I am their fingerprint.

I am their footprint.

And all of sudden, I didn't feel alone anymore.

No.

Not alone.

Not alone at all.

Regards,
Tangbro